What’s in an “academic” name?

Something I never even questioned when starting my PhD has now become a daily struggle in my mind. 

When I first contributed to a scientific article in 2012, I remember that picking the name I will use as an author was a substantial decision (“Do I add my middle name?...”). After all, I did not want to be confused with another scientist later on during my career (yes, I am now aware of ORCID). 

Sounds like an unimportant decision.

It’s only when my career prospects became rocky that I realized how much identity I had tied to my “author” name. When I came close to losing my academic identity (I still am, as a matter of fact), I realized that my self-perception is deeply connected to it.

In academia, you don’t just have a profession, you gradually shape (and re-shape) your personal identity as you climb the ladder. Your name becomes part of the definition of your research. 

“Have you seen the “Smith paper”? 

All this is fine if everything is going well. What happens if you face failure after failure, especially at a stage where you are quite a long way up the ladder? It might hurt a lot more if you fall from up there. I don’t think the journey ends when you secure a stable position (and more often than not, one does not…). When you are a PhD student, you are trying to prove yourself. As a postdoc, you want to prove your potential as a group leader. You then become a new PI, you have to establish credibility. Let’s say you become a full professor, it’s not over! Now, you need to maintain your reputation. 

And you might not realize that everything you do is tied to your name. Embedded in your identity.

You also might not realize that you now see yourself as the combination of your publications, your citations, your secured grants… This cannot be healthy. There has to be some kind of boundary between your academic profile and your personal identity.

You are not defined by your h-index. Try to break free of total academic commitment. 

This will make it easier if you ever have to let go of it.